I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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