It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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