I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
