I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
