i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
