so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
