i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize