I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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