Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I sprained my soul last night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
