how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
