I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
