Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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