Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
