do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
