Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
