low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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