dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
