So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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