Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
