Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think my moral compass just broke
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