you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize