I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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