If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
