And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
