We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
