so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
