explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
