question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
