You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
