Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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