no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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