girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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