I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
