you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
