that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
