Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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