I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
