You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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