just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
