I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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