Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
