PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
