I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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