it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
