Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
