after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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