i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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