I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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