As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
