we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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