i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
