Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
