mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
