Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
