My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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