I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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