What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
