she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
