at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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