So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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