You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
