worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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