we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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