Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there was a trapeze. enough said
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize