I look better un-naked...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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