If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
