Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
bring money and cleavage
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
