I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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