haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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