I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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