The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
