Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize