The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
