I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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