I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize